2011 has been an eventful year for me in terms of many things. I normally dont take stock of the year gone by or make a list of goals for the next year here. But I want to do it this year because I want to be atleast half of what I imagine I should be when I hit 30.
I ve begun to read again. But i seem to only want the comfort of books already read. Safe and predictable. Probably because I am so afraid of encountering something that will trigger off something else. This new year I have to work myself out of this fear. Maybe start reading Children’s books which may not have what I am avoiding.
My writing has taken a sad backseat all of this year. Usually writing is very cathartic but there are somethings you dont even want to think leave alone write about. I should start posting more regularly on the blog from now onwards
I seem to have developed High Blood pressure in the last year and it is quite scary because of the complications it will have especially during pregnancy. I have to somehow bring this down by July next year. This is a personal commitment to myself and all those who worry about me.
I am carrying a lot of baggage from the past and sometimes it weighs me down too much. My flights of fancy are getting less frequent. Frankly it scares me. I dont want to forget how to fly. the meadow dreams dont come any more. i have to learn to laugh, enjoy myself and finish grieving some losses.
Like my favourite Arundati Roy says
‘To love. To be loved. To never forget your own insignificance. To never get used to the unspeakable violence and the vulgar disparity of life around you. To seek joy in the saddest places. To pursue beauty to its lair. To never simplify what is complicated or complicate what is simple. To respect strength, never power. Above all, to watch. To try and understand. To never look away. And never, never, to forget’
For me, I should not forget the two greatest lessons I learnt last year
In the end, it is only the kindness that matters.
When you want to do something for someone, do it as soon as possible
i ve never taken work seriously but it has been my anchor of sorts during hard times. after moving into a role that I enjoy, I hope to finally give work my attention and due this 2012. I want to make powerful changes to my work such that I can retain my job even later when I need it to be more flexible
So long folks!!! how has your year been and what do you want to do next year?